Children of the Corn Remake

*Some spoilers to follow but I do not give a summary of plot*

So I finally watched the new Children of the Corn and as someone who not only saw the original but every single sequel this one was weak as hell. It’s basically like if you take the first 10 minutes of the original and make it the whole movie but then also jump to the last 10 minutes. They also changed the name of He Who Walks Behind the Rows turned him into this pathetically weak He Who Walks nonsense which makes me livid and they made him a completely different entity. Removed all religious/cult like themes from the storyline, which oddly made it less believable. It clearly made the kids less successful and it was the beginning of neutering He Who Walks Behind the Rows. In the original he’s a demon or perhaps even Satan himself and completely unkillable. The kids being part of a cult also meant wherever they went he went and allowed his work to be spread all over (hence 6 sequels). In this one he’s a corn monster that’s easily killable. All the characters are unlikable. All of them. The CGI made some scenes absolutely comical. Also pretty disappointed that a bunch of kids die in the first 10 minutes of the movie, the death of a dog is described, and a hog is also killed. And if you know anything about the original, the majority of the other deaths in the movie are surprisingly tame. There’s a lot less gore than the original. My other big pet peeve is the main character lighting fuel on fire, the fire should have also traveled back to the car that was still dripping gas everywhere and also probably to her since she was coated in it but instead just travels to all the places she’s been as if fire can only travel in one direction.

I give it 1 star for the miraculous feat of making me dislike literally every character and think most of them deserved their fates. But honestly just skip it. Go watch the original and then if you enjoy the original watch the sequel Isaac’s Return. The original and all the sequels are currently available on Max.